Lakers-Nuggets and Nationwide Series Togglefest, brought to you LIVE!

LakersNASCARHello folks.  A couple of weeks ago we were houseguests for an evening over at Sportsbroad, and we had so much fun that we decided to bring you all another blow by blow of two simultaneous sports events.  Tonight, we have the Lakers and Nuggets game three, which the Lakeshow kind of need to win, and also, in a completely different vein, the NASCAR Nationwide Series at Charlotte Motor Speedway.  This race is usually pretty fun, and can get a little chippy.  Follow along after the jump for all sorts of fun, including constant updates on the number of beers we’ve consumed.  And that picture comes up in a google image search for “lakers nascar”.  Unrelated, we know, but it’s the best one that showed up.

8:26 – Still have pregame over on ABC for the hoops, and we can’t watch Stuart Scott’s weird eye without getting queasy, so we’re over on ESPN2 watching the race pregame.  Rain has delayed tonights start, so we’ve got Brad Daugherty schooling us on the NASCAR drug policy.  We like Daugherty, and think he does a good job, but it’s a little weird seeing him as a NASCAR analyst.

8:36 – We flip back to hoops to see Trevor Ariza nail a jumper to tie the game at 4.  Kobe’s getting the treatment from the Nuggets fans.  Nice.

8:37 – Melo hits 1 of 2 free throws, and Denver’s up one.  Derek Fisher drives to the hoop, and gets fouled.  Pau Gasol “rebounded” his miss after the whistle.  Kind of sums up his effort level when it comes to rebounding.

8:39 – Chauncey Billups draws a foul on Andrew Bynum, or as we like to call him, Tracy Morgan on stilts in a fat suit.  He kind of plays like it if you think about it.

8:40 – Nevermind, that foul was on Kobe.  (Insert your own joke about alleged sex crimes here.)

8:41 – Anthony gets fouled again.  That’s three trips in a row that they’ve gotten to the line.  Not good news for the Lakers.

8:42 – After an Ariza airball (we knew he was shitty), Anthony drives and scores over Yi Jianlian’s chair, also known as Pau Gasol.  Here’s where we’d make a prediction, but last night’s Cavs game taught us all we needed to know about that.

8:44 – And just like that, three straight Laker buckets give them the lead.  They do need to stop the fouling though.

8:47 – Commercial time.  Good thing, this game is a tad sloppy.  Over on the deuce, it looks like we might get some racing soon.  Drivers are in the cars, and we’re about to fire the engines.

8:50 – Some guy that looked like a teacher we had in middle school just gave the command to start the engines.  Also, the Braves are leading the Blue Gheys 3-2 in the sixth.  Good stuff.

8:52 – Nice to see Bill Plaschke and J.A. Adande killing Bynum on their Twitter feeds.  Nene puts the Nuggets up six.

8:53 – Wow wow wee wow.  The Lakers have a three on one with Fisher, Gasol, and Ariza, and Melo not only breaks it up, but draws a foul.  Let’s just say that so far, this game is not aesthetically pleasing.  If it gets worse, we might have to drop a Bubba Sparxxx link in here.

8:55 – Kenyon Martin with a nifty little pass to Chris “Birdman” Anderson for a dunk.  We’re convinced that Birdman is only good because nobody can take him seriously with that ridiculous appearance.

8:57 – Kelly Johnson homers off of B.J. Ryan to extend the Braves lead to 4-2.  Thanks Twitter!

8:59 – How many more times over the next week are we going to WITNESS LeBron’s game winner from last night?  We’re putting the over/under at 1,000 times, and we feel completely confident in taking the over.

9:03 – Gasol with a nice hook shot to cut the lead to four.  He’s really good offensively, but he’s a huge liability on the defensive end.  You don’t see that very often from big men.

9:05 – An Odom bucket followed by a last second heave and miss from Anthony ends the first quarter.  Nuggets up by two.

9:06 – We’ve got a green/yellow start in Charlotte.  This thing could take a while.

9:10 – Reshuffling the field in Charlotte.  We might have green flag racing soon.  We’re going to take a break for a few.

9:17 – Green flag drops.  Kyle Busch looks like a man on a mission from back in the pack.  Carl Edwards with an early lead.

9:19 – Wow.  We didn’t realize Melo had 14 in the first quarter.  Looks like he can get whatever he wants whenever he wants it.  Nuggets up five.

9:25 – Kobe’s kind of good.  He’s got twelve, and he’s managed to tie the game.

9:27 – Quick flip back to NASCAR lets us know that we’re under caution for a wreck that was identical to at least three clips they showed in the prerace show.  That’s solid analysis.  Why can’t ESPN bring that kind of effort to all of their coverage?

9:29 – We’ll freely admit that we’re new to the whole Twitter thing, and don’t completely get it, but why are all of Bill Plaschke’s updates about something other than the game?  He’s talking about the kisscam, the fans, the lack of celebrities at the game, and the fact that he’s in the nosebleeds.  We’ve never read much (any) of his writing, but if that is indicative of his effort, the LA Times must be hurting for talent.  Or really really cheap.  Or both.

9:36 – Kyle Busch started dead last, and is currently fifth.  He’s a first class prick, but man can he drive.

9:37 – An Anthony jumper gives the Nuggets a five point lead with a little over a minute to go in the first half.  We have no idea how this game is this close.  Denver is playing much better.

9:39 – Pretty solid and good looking block by Kenyon Martin on Kobe’s shot sends the entire announcing crew into an uproar about goal tending.  Since they weren’t on camera at the time, we couldn’t see if they had a straight face or not, but we certainly couldn’t call that a goal tend with a straight face.

9:42 – After an Ariza three, Klieiza gets T’d up for getting tangled up with Gasol in a really lame Euro on Euro flop waiting to happen.

9:43 – Birdman has thirteen (!), and Anthony has 18 at the half, as the Nuggets lead by four.

9:54 – After a brief respite to grab a fresh brew, the halftime show has devolved into all LeBron, all the time.  We’re starting to think that the over/under of 1,000 for replays of last night’s game winner is painfully low.  We’d give you a race update, but we’ve got a mean string of commercials going on.

9:57 – Kyle Busch is now leading in Charlotte.  In baseball news, the Braves beat Toronto, the Mets have taken the lead over Boston, and the Marlins are tied with Tampa.  How is the National League vastly inferior to the American League?  That’s the conventional wisdom, anyway.  We could use an explanation.

10:07 – Cycling through green flag pit stops in Charlotte.  Back in Denver, the Nuggets still lead by three, and are having none of this Kobe driving to the hoop business.

10:09 – The Lakers look absolutely inept on the offensive end, and Kobe just picked up his third foul.  How does this team score so many points?

10:10 – Nuggets lead balloons to seven, and LA takes a timeout.  Stern might have to get Tim Donaghy out of prison if he wants to keep his Kobe-LeBron finals matchup alive.

10:18 – NBA officiating is atrocious.  Jones just put both of his hands squarely on Kobe’s back and pushed him, and it’s not a flagrant foul.  Unreal.

10:19 – Fisher does a good job to break up a fast break, and the play devolves into a game of grabass at midcourt.  This game is just sloppy.

10:20 – Now Fisher gets a T for playing slap hands with Kenyon Martin.  We’re close to pulling the plug.

10:22 – Kyle Busch is checked the eff out.  He has a 1.7 second lead.  Alright folks, we think we’ve had all we can take.  We’ll be back tomorrow with something else new and fun.  Until then….

Share

Leave a comment